Bipolar!

I am a major bipolar person whom also has OCD and ADHD, which if I only had one thing I think it would my world a lot easier. But I have all three and days like today it really makes it so hard. I have this world in my mind in which everything is always perfect! In my mind my house should always be clean and everything in it spot. My clothes always wash, dry, and put up in there place. I would not be so in debt that I lose my mind every month. I would have a job in which I would make a lot money and be able to still have all the time in the world to do what I wanted when I wanted. But the real world in which I live is nothing like that. My house is always in need of being clean and it seems the more I do the more it needs it. The clothes are always dirty, and after last month they are really back up. Our dryer went out last month and we had to get a new one. We did go to my mom's and do to some clothes but once we made up our mind to go get a new set we did not go wash any more so when we got the new set there were about a month of clothes on the floor. My dishes are always needing to be wash and I HATE washing them they end up sitting there longer then I would like. I am in debt up to my head! Which makes me go nuts every month when trying to put together our budget for the month. I we have not play room in our budget which kills me when there is something I would like do to with Dakota or for our self. I hate when I go somewhere and I watch everyone else with money be able to do what I wish I could. When I do I end up crying later. And I think that only makes it harder  because then I feel so stupid for crying our something that is my fault. I want to do something with my life in which I would make more money but I don't know what that something is. I have all kind of ideas but I don't know which one to do for a career.
While all of those things look bad if I could get over this perfect world in my head I could see that the world I live in is perfect. I would see that I have a happy and healthy baby girl. She has a daddy who loves her more than anything and I have a husband whom loves me every day. I would also see that the house that always needs to be clean means that we have the time to play with our baby girl and that we have the things to have a mess house. That the dishes mean that we have food to eat. The clothes all over the floor mean that we have more then enough clothes to wear even when you can't see the kitchen floor. The fact that we are in debt that makes me go nuts every month means that we are living and while I am going nuts we do make the money to pay our bills. The jobs we have do not make a lot of money but we have jobs which makes us lucky because there are so many people whom would love to have my perfect life. While I don't know what I want to do for a career I do have dreams which will keep me moving to reach them.
I wish I could remember this every time the real world was not as perfect as the one in my head. I hate have so many issues and I wish my baby girl did not have to put up with them. I know that they are easy for her to deal with. I wish I could just shut off the "perfect" world and just think about the here and now. I think to help me remember all the perfect things in my real world I am going to make a list and put them in a frame so that I can see it everyday and remember the real world is better then the one in my head.